"Gypsy gold does not chink and glitter. It gleams in the sun and neighs in the dark."

~ Saying of the Gladdagh Gypsies of Galway

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Motherhood Hazing Ritual

I realize I am not the first mother this has ever happened to, nor will I be the last. More so, I realize I have just been added to 'the majority', so that is why I can now say I have completed another motherhood hazing episode? event? rite of passage?

Let me explain. Tuesday evening when we got home for the night, I could tell the babe wasn't feeling all too great. He'd felt warm to me for a day or so, but otherwise was eating and acting normal. Tuesday evening after he ate, he was sitting in middle of the kitchen very still and quiet - very unlike him. I figured he was just doing his business in his diaper, but he sat their longer than normal. No fussing with the dog water bowl or the door to the basement - just sitting.

I picked him up and headed to his room for a diaper change. No sooner did I have one foot on the carpeted hallway and the other almost on the wooden bedroom floor and it was a scene from the exorcist. Projectile vomit - dead on - down the [inside] front of my shirt, then again in my hair, and again, and again. I stood there stunned. I didn't see that coming! And the poor kid looked like a 21 year-old the morning after their birthday. Sweating, beat red and exhausted....and covered in puke. We were both COVERED in puke.

I yelled out to Allen who was outside cleaning the horse stalls. I asked him if he could come in and help, that the kid had puked all over and I needed assistance. He then yells back 'Do you really need me to come in? I am all dirty!!'. WAS HE SERIOUS?

So I strip off what clothing I could right there, then waddle out to the patio, baby on hip, still covered from the waist up in vomit and say 'CAN YOU HELP ME PLEASE?' -- once he saw us, I think he discovered the urgency in my original request. So, we stripped the baby down outside (don't worry, we are experiencing unseasonably warm, 80 degree temps at the moment!) and I got his bath ready. Then I gave myself a shower! Then we continued on with the evening until the poor little guy feel asleep.

Enter 1am - I am woken up to an antsy babe next to me who proceeds to projectile vomit again, all over me, him, the bed and my hair. UGH. I know why mom's cut their hair short now! So I wake up Allen (who had taken up residence on the couch!) to help us, we get the baby another bath and then Allen holds him in the rocking chair until I get showered [again!]. I hear Allen yell out to me while I am in showering 'The baby puked again all over me - help'. So I think to myself 'Do you REALLY need me, I am in the middle of a shower!' Can you sense my sarcasm!...

So, off I go, in a hurry to finish my shower, get dressed again and get my babe washed up...again. Now, next time, when we have child vomit and I call for help, I am pretty sure my husband will know that means 'get over here and help me NOW...or else' :) And, I will be a little more prepared and not taken off guard now that I have had the pleasure of this wonderful experience!


Anonymous said...

We always have the kids lay on towels when they are sick so it's easier to change the towel than the entire bed. Hope your little guy is feeling better soon.
Oh, and we keep a bucket in each child's room in case they feel sick in the middle of the night and can't make it to the toilet. That has saved me from so many nasty clean-ups in the middle of the night.

HolleyGarden said...

So glad I can send the grandchildren home when they get sick! I never did handle the throwing up part of motherhood very well. I hope your little babe is feeling better now.

Anonymous said...

Oh no, poor kiddo! Okay, I'm going to have to knock on wood here because my five year old has never thrown up. Nope, never. I'm okay with that.

Lisa said...

Poor kiddo! Hope he feels better soon. We also have kids sleep on a towel when they're sick, washing half-dozen towels is easier than washing half-dozen blankets and sheets, etc.

I've been puked on several times over the past 5 1/2 years of parenting but what was worse was the night my middle child climbed into bed in the middle of the night for what I thought was snuggle time and it took me a couple of minutes to realize he was covered in diarrehea.

Unknown said...

oh no!! Poor you and poor baby!!
I cant help but giggle a little because I was a projectile vomitter (Sp) my mom said I could never just throw up it was always projectile.

LOL i love how you knew he didnt feel good cause he wasnt playing in the dog bowl.

Nikki Vale said...

Mason wasn't feeling well one day at daycare and i went to go see him. i was holding him so his face was facing mine and i lifted him up to say "my goo doesnt feel well does he?" the baby seemed like he was going to smile, and before i knew what hit me, he vomited in my hair, eyes, in my mouth, down my shirt and in my lap. i totally feel your pain!!! hope he feels better soon!!!!

katiegirl said...

Holy cow. What an awful experience. I'm no good with vomit...and I'm not sure I would have kept my own dinner down. When my stepkids get sick, I can clean the kid up, but David has to clean the mess up. I hope your little guy is feeling better now!