Dull Moments in Country Life

The title of this blog post is dripping with sarcasm. Here are just a few examples why. All of the following events took place within the last 2.5 hours. Can't a gal catch a break!?

1. As I was tending to the fire (in the fireplace) and getting ready to start dinner, I looked out the front window and across the road in the cornfield, caught a glimpse off a butt on the run with a dark, black tail swinging in the air. I know that 'butt' look anywhere....and thank goodness, it wasn't one of mine [for once]! It was the neighbors lonely horse who frequents breaking out of his pasture more often than not to come visit my kids. Only this time, he booked it across the road, took out a mailbox and flew over a ditch...and then there I saw him sprinting through the cornfield. So of course, I threw on my boots, coat and hat, ran out to the barn where hubby was shoveling poo and yelled to him to throw me a halter and lead; The horse next door was loose and I was going to catch him. So there I went, prego belly an all (too much of a familiar scene any more, I tell ya!) and went sprinting through yards and down the road, over the ditch and into the cornfield. Hubby wasn't far behind and we both stopped, dumb-founded, at the large buck in the middle of the cornfield. "No, I swear I saw the horse"....and then there he went, right through chicken wire fencing covered in brush and into a neighbors yard. *yikes* I could just hear his skin tearing on his legs as he went through that. So, the owner did come running eventually, after Allen yelled out to him that his horse was loose, and we caught 'Partner'. All is ok now...this is a normal activity 'round these parts I suppose! I just can't wait to tell my child how many times it chased after loose horses (and a donkey) before it was even able to walk!
2. I was finally settling in down in front of the fireplace with my laptop and HOWLS were screaming in through the chimney. What.The.Heck? I open the front door and all I could hear was RAVAGE howling. I instantly became concerned and upset; it wasn't from too far and I was concerned a dog was in distress -- maybe entangled with a coyote? It was so loud (still is, actually) that my dogs were pacing and freaking out, looking out the front window. I went out to get my husband, who was in his man-garage with a friend, and asked him to come listen. I told him something was seriously wrong and we might need to go help this poor animal. His friend knew the sounds right away [thank goodness] -- Coon Hunters and their Dogs -- WHEW. So at least I knew the howling was a positive thing, not a dog in distress ;)
3. As I settled back in and started reading through my daily list of blogs, I came to one written by a lady who does cat rescue, House of the Discarded. I clicked on the first video she had posted. It was taken in a 'cat shelter' and within not even 2 seconds of me playing this video, with all the cats crying and moaning on it, my cat came whirling out of nowhere, claws out and fangs barred, screaming at me. She jumped onto my laptop, clawed me, I jumped up, dropped the laptop, and then instantly became entangled in a mess of one hot mess of a cat and two dogs, getting the snot clawed out of them for reason unknown to them.

Ahhh yes, dull moments in the country! Isn't this what life is all about ;)

Just a regular occurance around here...

Nothing puts a little excitement into your day like this kind of phone call: Allen calls me at 4:27 p.m. "don't panic, but the neighbor just called and said a horse is out" and honestly, I didn't panic - LOL - this is like a regular day on the farm anymore. I had to pick up feed on my way home and Allen said he was almost home anyways, so I just continued on my merry way to pick up the feed.

So a few minutes later, he calls back and says the neighbor told him the horse is by the barn and it is a 'dirty white one' ;) That tells me one thing - it's Gypsy! Poor girl; people think she is dirty even when she isn't ;) So then I REALLY didn't panic because I know she won't go anywhere out of view of the rest of her herd!

Allen said he pulled in the drive and around to the back of the house and there she was, just chilling in the yard! He just casually walked past her and into the barn for her halter and she basically followed him! She must have been out most of the day though, there were decent poo piles all throughout the yard, back by Daisy and even one on the SIDE OF THE HOUSE! Clearly, she enjoyed herself ;)

Oh, and how did she get out do you ask? Allen latched their stall doors in the morning, but failed to put the extra lock on; she must have kicked until the latch popped and the door opened! We tested our theory. I told Allen "you don't weight 1200#, you kicking this door could do nothing" --- three kicks and TA-DA, the door was open ;)

But I must say, this is my kind of loose horse case! Not like this, or this, or THIS!

It's 1am - Do you know where YOUR horses are?

If I was answering this question, this morning at 1am, my answer would be 'Uh, in the barn?' and the sheriff standing at my back door while I am in my nightgown would say something like 'Do you have a brown and white pony about this high? I just tried to chase him and another one but couldn't get them'. PANIC - sheer panic engulfs me and I throw on my muck boots and a flannel over my nightgown that was hanging by the back door and dart out to search for them. The sheriff is trying to tell me where he last saw them. He tells me they are ok and not to panic....and it seems he thinks they are ok because they ran from him. REALLY? Let me let you in on a little secret....that means NOTHING!

So, the sheriff leaves, which I then later realize I should have asked him to stay and help with some spotlights and walk us to where he last saw them. I am running through my orchard to the back of our property because the sheriff mentioned a pond; although there are ponds all around us, for some reason my intuition told me it was the 'secret' pond all the way back in the woods. My intuition was wrong. [Shocking] I sent a text to my horse friend, Lauren, with a message that read exactly like this 'lauren get up cops were at my door daisy and romw eo aee gone'.....that last part was supposed to read 'romeo are gone'!

She calls me - she knows me - she knew I would be a sheer mess of hot panic. And I was. I was panicked I would never see Daisy and Romeo again...or that I would find them in the road. Or how would I even find them AT ALL? I was panicked I would fall into a pond I couldn't see because it was pitch black out and I am scared of water like that in the dark. I was scared because at this point, Allen left me to scour the streets in his work van with big headlights. I was scared because Allen claims he spotted a coyote about 75 pounds or so back there last week....and I was alone.....and Daisy still has her recovering Sarcoid 'wound'. And people out where I live own guns and guard dogs...and probably wouldn't hesitate to use them when they see a person meandering in their back yard with a flashlight in the middle of the night.

Eventually, Allen drives back through the orchard and meets me near the woods. There we are, probably about quarter to 2 in the morning, walking through the woods in our pjs and muck boots with ONE MEASLY PATHETICALLY lit flashlight, me shaking treats in a container, calling out for Daisy and Romeo. We walked through woods and a wheat field. We made our rounds through what seemed like 50 acres. We didn't find them at the pond. We trekked it back to the road and continued to follow it all the while scanning for any sign of them. Allen got back in his truck and I panicked at the road. It was then that I realized that Savannah had been following us THE WHOLE TIME and she continued to stay with me, in the road, in the woods and in the wheat fields, for the rest of the search! That darn cat! How could you not love her for this!

At this point, while standing in the road at the property dividing line between my neighbors and us, I panicked more. I decided I needed more info on the call that came in about them being loose because, at this point, we were looking for a needle in a haystack. I called the sheriff dispatch and the woman on the other end really told me nothing of any help. I then sent a text to my sister-in-law whose husband happens to be a sheriffs deputy, to see if he was on call or at work or whatever - ANYTHING that could help me! He wasn't. Then, I called dispatch again - at this point that operator was probably already referring to me as the crazy lady in the country whose horses were loose. I asked her to patch me through to the sheriff who was at my door so I could gather the info he had again in a more clear & coherent state of mind.

As I was waiting to be patched through, I looked down, and low and behold, it was like seeing a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. It was a PILE OF FRESH HORSE MANURE.....and not just any horse manure, but manure too small to come from an Amish buggy horse, which only meant one thing. IT CAME FROM ONE OF MY MISSING CHILDREN!!!! They are here. Somewhere. Or, at least they were. Now, I am back on the phone with the sheriff who saw them and I could better understand where he found them before they ran off....which happened to be the neighbors house who I was standing right in front of! And call me crazy, because at this point I was anyways, but I swear Savannah kept looking in that direction...and they do have a pond. So I started beaming at Allen down the road in his work van with my flashlight. [You know, kinda like those people who direct in airplanes on runways with big lightening saber sticks?] He flashed his brights back at me [I guess that means 'I'm coming'] and he flew down the road and into our driveway.

I told him what the sheriff said and then said I have a hunch they are next door, come look with me. (Because I couldn't go alone for fear that the chow on that property would get out of her gate and get me! Or my babies!) So Allen drove his work van up the front yard and facing their property for a little more light. He took to one side of their pond, I took to the other and as I was spanning across the field, I spotted two HUGE ears in the shadows. DAISY! "Allen, it's her, I see her. Don't let her out of your sight!"

We then cross over into the next neighbors yard, who has one horse [who ironically never made a peep during the whole ordeal!] and Allen spots Romeo INSIDE their barn and Daisy on guard in front of the doorway (which was blocked by a tractor). As we approached, Daisy ran around back and into the barn through the back door and stood next to Romeo. I pretty much was able to walk right up to Romeo, halter him and breath a sigh of relief! [Good Boy!] Allen approached the back doorway of the barn and we tried to slowly, I stress the word S.L.O.W.L.Y., inch in on Daisy, but she bolted through an open man door. The next 20 minutes or so resulted in us taking turns holding Romeo and playing ring-around-the-barn trying to catch Daisy. (Mind you no neighbors ever woke up, turned on a light or came out to see the commotion!)

Finally, I told Allen to walk Romeo home. I had lost sight of Daisy and continued to shake my grain pail and scour the dark looking for her. Then, I hear Allen yell "Allllllisssssson!". Perfect, she followed them home, just as I had hoped. Turns out, she was standing right outside her stall door, but wouldn't go in. So, another 30 minutes or so ensued of playing ring-around-this-barn trying to get Daisy. At one point, I almost had her lured into the barn with the big horses. And at another point, she almost voluntarily put herself away, but then decided to go back out to the orchard for grass. It wasn't until she decided to go in the walk way between the 2 barns, where entrance to Romeo's stall is, that I came at her from one side, and Allen from the other, and I S.L.O.W.L.Y. lured her to me with grain all the while S.L.O.W.L.Y. draping the lead rope over her neck. GOT HER! OH THANK YOU SWEET JESUS THANK YOU!

So, you might ask, how long did this fiasco ensure? About 2-2.5 hours! We were back in bed around 3:30am

And you might ask, what about Lauren? Well, she ended up getting in her car and heading out to us to help search for them! She lives about 45-55 minutes away!! I called her before she got too far to tell her we found them, go home and back to bed!

And the million dollar question is....how in the heck did they get out in the first place? Seems someone kicked open the divider door between the two if them, which I can only them assume they started a spat with each other, in which someone kicked the gate to the outside, knocking it off the hinges, and then opening a doorway to the great unknown for them to explore.

And least we not forget, Daisy has made our heart skip a beat on one other occasion too. And, lets also not forget that almost one year ago, I was prompted to start this blog from this incident!

Pilot Story - Life of a Novice

So I've been told more than once that my life never seems to have a dull moment! I read a few blogs and got to thinking, why don't I blog my "stories", just for fun, on all my experiences as a NOVICE in everything I/we do; even if no one wants to read my blog, it will always be here for me to look back on...just when I thought it couldn't get worse, I can go back into my blog and see that it can!

There's been many "Life on the Farm" examples as of recent that I could blog about; running out of water, tractor breaking down, catching and socializing a litter of feral kittens, letting my horses eat too much grass [I knew better, dang it!], but last nights incident made me decide this was a sign to proceed forward with that thought - write a blog!

Enjoy! If you are a novice too, and you're reading this blog, I hope you find comfort in my stories and know you aren't the only one! So without further or do....

My neighbors are idiots! I brought the horses in shortly before 9pm last night and right as Allen and I got to the pasture, the brilliant neighbors started setting off firecrackers like it was freaking 4th of July - NEWSFLASH - that was Saturday!!!

So Gypsy walked fine for Allen, but Apollo about dragged me the whole way up ;( It was the longest walk of my life; I can honestly say I was not nervous at all and we circled a lot...I was just extremely aggravated with the neighbors [IDIOTS!]

So we get into Apollos stall and he is a little shaky, but fine. I take off his halter & fly mask and give him a good scratch like usual - next thing I know, he bolts past me and flys through his stall door and OUT THE BARN. Again, I am proud to say I don't really think I panicked, but maybe that is because my husband was doing it for me! LOL

Apollo (mind you, halter-less) swiftly trotted over to the gravel drive, near the bend that leads to the front of the house, so my instinct is that he is going to follow the driveway out front - ekks! All I am thinking is to scream loose horse so the imbeciles next door lay off the firecrackers!! I slowly approached Apollo, talking CALMLY (I swear, really, I was calm!) and then he swings around and runs back towards the barn. I am thinking, too easy, you won't go back in the barn....and he doesn't.....he squeezes himself through the brush between his barn and Daisy's and ends up in what will be her pasture area (aka, no fence yet!). Allen follows his path and I tell him STAY there so if he runs back, you can grab him. (What was I thinking, he didn't even have a freaking lead). I come around the back side and start to slowly approach while Apollo is loving life in the grass he's found *sigh*. Then Allen starts to approach.....didn't I say STAY WHERE YOU ARE!?

Long story wrap up....Apollo ended up swinging around and putting himself away ;) Good Boy!
Moral of this Story? Get a second job so you can fence in YOUR WHOLE property!